The Help That Never Arrives
“I’m still alive but I am barely breathing. Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in.”
That’s a heavy line from The Script, and it’s something I’ve been chewing on lately. I grew up in a traditional family—church every Sunday, the whole nine yards. I’ll spare you the psychological gymnastics of a boy entering puberty and having to confess his “sins” to a priest on a Friday afternoon. But beyond the dogma, there was a moral compass installed early on: the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
It’s an incredible framework for a child, isn’t it? Do good, and you’ll be rewarded with eternal paradise. But as you move through life, this “moral entitlement” becomes a dangerous piece of software running in the background of the developing brain.
A few months ago, there was a tragic shooting in Austin, just fifty yards from my old apartment. It was a place I’d been to a thousand times. In the aftermath, a woman close to me said, “God was protecting you.”
And look, the sentiment is lovely. It’s well-meaning. But it deeply bothered me. Why would a divine creator choose to protect me? I’m not special. I’m certainly no more deserving of life than the three people who didn’t make it home that night. There is a subtle, creeping narcissism beneath the surface of the “I’m so blessed” narrative. It suggests that your safety or your success is a direct result of your virtue—which implies, by extension, that those suffering simply weren’t “good enough” to merit protection.
It’s a very Western, very fragile way of viewing the world. It’s why people go silent when you point out the saintly mother whose child is born with a profound disability, or the virtuous man who loses his entire family in a freak accident. Where was the “blessing” there?
The Karma Delusion
I was debating karma with a friend recently. He cited an employee who helped a client secure venture capital for no personal gain, only for that client to later hire him for a massive contract. “That’s karma,” my friend said.
I told him I 50% agree—but not in the mystical sense. It’s not a cosmic ledger; it’s the Law of Reciprocity. Humans, especially men, feel a psychological debt when someone provides value. That’s not magic; it’s evolutionary biology.
If you want proof that cosmic karma doesn’t exist, just look at the Epstein files. Some of the most powerful, predatory people on the planet lived lives of unimaginable luxury and influence without the “universe” ever balancing the scales.
The Cost of Romantic Thinking
The danger of this “mythical force” belief system is that it leads to sub-optimal life strategies. You do things in the name of “good karma” when the exact opposite action would actually yield the result you want.
In Dating: You commit too soon to a girl because you don’t want to “hurt her feelings” or seem ungrateful to the universe, when in reality, maintaining your options and creating a bit of “dread” or competition would actually increase her attraction and the health of the relationship.
In Business: You shy away from using legitimate leverage because it doesn’t feel “nice,” only to watch a less virtuous competitor take the deal and the market share.
We cling to these stories because of fear. It is terrifying to admit that the world is indifferent. It’s much more comforting for the nervous system to believe we are being guided by a higher power than to accept that we are often just drifting in a chaotic sea, responsible for our own failures and limitations.
The Path Forward
So, where does that leave us? Do we just become nihilistic sociopaths?
Absolutely not. You should still have a moral compass. You should still put good into the world. But you must do it with zero expectation of a return. > “No amount of prayers or wishes can change your circumstances faster than identifying your skill gaps.”
The phrase “nice guys finish last” exists for a reason. Being “nice” is often just a mask for being harmless or ineffective. Don’t be “nice” because you’re waiting for a cosmic payout. Be competent. Be virtuous because it aligns with the man you want to be in the mirror, not because you think the universe owes you a favor.
Identify what you want, acknowledge the cold reality of the playing field, and stop waiting for the help that was never scheduled to arrive.
How does this shift in perspective change the way you’re currently approaching your biggest goal for this year?